An article tenuously related to the keywords ‘prayer’ and ‘music’

Lately I have been experimenting with alternative methods of income generation. In one of these experiments, I contacted a gentleman (via Craigslist) who needed writers for Search Engine Optimization (SEO). In this case, SEO meant writing articles tenuously related to their purported subject for the purpose of directing people to sites and gaining ad revenue. That’s what I assumed per my understanding of SEO. Not knowing what to expect,  I went ahead and applied for the promise of $10 per 400-600 word article. I received this response:

Hi Jose,

Thanks for submitting your application. I enjoyed reading a couple of your articles from Rub Raw Press. You have beat out most of your peers and made it to the second and final round of interviews for the gig. Since this is a writing job, and the needs I have are fairly specific, the best way to pick 1-2 people to write for me, is through a sample. I am asking you to submit one actual article to me, but first I want to explain a few specific requirements/suggestions I have about writing them.

1) They must be between 400-600 words in length.
2) They must follow the finite subject fairly closely.
3) Using a thesaurus is a great way to go.
4) Using themes, places, people, locations commonly associated with the subject is great for SEO.
5) Using the exact subject phrase is good 1-3 times, but not more than that.  Using variations of the subject phrase is good.
6) Absolutely no copying, or plagiarizing.  These articles will be checked using google searches.
7) Having an insightful opinion in each article is not necessary, but using a wide variety of subject related words is.  Whatever gets you through to the end of a detailed, articulate, article.

If you get the job, I will most likely submit a list of 10 article subjects to you at a time.  Once those are delivered, I will submit another 10. For this application, I want you to choose one of the following three topics:

a) diamond flower earrings
b) prayer and music
c) medical insurance children

I’m hoping to make my final decision by Friday night (Pacific time).
If you get the gig, payments will be made by Paypal.

Thanks very much for taking the time to apply, if you have any questions before beginning, feel free to contact me directly.

I chose “b) prayer and music”. I wrote the article and sent it and received a reply that I could have the job if I wanted, but with a higher minimum word count (700+) and no change in compensation. Furthermore, I would not be paid per article, but for every “batch of 10″.  All that from a dude who runs a website promoting the use of homeless people as billboards. I told him that I was concerned, that I wanted to be paid for each article individually. He said that he couldn’t do that and offered to pay me for my example (via PayPal) if I took the job. I didn’t take the job, and I didn’t get paid for the “article” I had spent an Intense half-hour conceptualizing and writing. Presented for your consideration, therefore, is a BS article tenuously related to the keywords “prayer” and “music”.
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What is the relationship between prayer and music? Both prayer and music hold special meaning for their practitioners, and some would say that music is in itself a form of prayer. The backbone of Western classical music such as that written by Bach and Mozart was attendant to the spectacle of the organized mass. The music accompanied and intensified the services—particularly well known are the Gregorian chants written to contemplate God. A song can be understood to glorify God and His creation or to express joy or thanksgiving. In other traditions, the song does not accompany worship or prayer but is in and of itself a form of worship. One such example is Indian classical music, the basis of which can be found in the Vedas, some of Hinduism’s oldest texts.

In the modern context music appears to be worshipped by some as a religion. A devotee of a certain genre of music exhibits behaviors similar to that of a devotee of a religion. Instead of a church or temple, services are held in clubs, all-ages spaces, and stadiums. Non-denominational meetups find their doppelganger in multi-day festivals such as Bonnaroo or the Reading festival. Religions have clergy that interpret the faith. Like early Christian, DIY communities hold meetings in their living rooms and basements. Music fans have figures within their ‘scene’ of choice, as well as overarching arbiters of musical taste, such as Pitchfork, to whom they can turn for interpretations of what makes a certain type of music good or authentic. To a certain extent these figures mediate a collective figuring of what is good in music or what ought to be found in music.

An argument for music-as-religion may find its clearest expression in a comparison to personality cults. Figures such as David Koresh and Tom Jones find their doubles in The Grateful Dead, The Rolling Stones, and more recently Animal Collective in terms of the fervor fans display in not only following their favorite band but organizing a lifestyle around their dedication to the band—this is to say nothing of Charles Manson, who was literally both a musician and the leader of a religious cult. Religious music can also become popular, as has been the case with Bob Marley.

Whether music is employed as part of worship or sought as a direct connection to the divine, it is clear that there is something about music that pulls the listener towards a state that, while perhaps not best described as ‘contemplative’, puts the listener in a state outside of the everyday. It is difficult to outline what makes music satisfying in this way, especially when considering how many different types of music can serve a similar purpose as prayer to so many different people—is it the total sound of the song? The words? The harmonic composition and song structure that makes music so compelling? These are questions are impossible to answer with a formula or written argument. They are, however, answered whenever someone connects with a song.
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While writing this post I took to thinking more deeply about music and prayer. Here are some notes.

Panda Bear has an album called Young Prayer.

Some dude wrote a song called “Livin’ on a Prayer”.

I recently heard about this New York buzz band. They are called Madonna and sound a little like Lady Gaga. They wrote a song about prayer.

Popular proto-ternative pop group Brian Wilson wrote a song about prayer.

Here is a video of breakthrough British band the XX playing a song about prayer.

h8 u Ezjet (Easyjet)

I am a tolerant traveler. I never ‘get angry’ when planes are delayed in order to ’score free tix’. I think that’s unethical. I can deal with a lot when it comes to being inconvenienced in order to fly somewhere on the cheap. but I hate EasyJet.

I have flown them twice now (one round trip): from Berlin to Naples and back. Both flights were by far the most frustrating flying situations I have ever been in. Let me explain why.

1. Crappy gates – I know it’s cost effective to use far away gates, but one gate for multiple flights at the same time? Telling us we’re boarding only to crowd an entire plane’s worth of people into a small room? Things get confusing

2. Bad check-in system – The ticket said to be there by 9 to check in for my flight at 12. That means you’re supposed to open the gates before 11. And this was in Germany, a generally really punctual country. I bet you refused to let the Germans open on time, and I bet it was tortuous for them. I bet they screamed in the ‘back offices’.

3. No assigned seating – This is a recipe for disaster. All sense of etiquette was lost as everybody crowded through the doors and raced to the bus and then raced and pushed and shoved out of the bus in order to get a better seat on the plane. I didn’t feel like a person anymore. I felt like livestock, I felt like rudeness was being encouraged. I lost faith in mankind. I was really sad.

For an approximation of the pushing strategy, plz refer to the diagram I made in my previous post subsection re: ‘Russian Peoplejams’ (secret self promo).

It seems I’m not the only one who h8s Ezjet. Here seems to be some sort of online rant forum/support group for those like me who have been emotionally scarred by their experiences with these budget airline companies.

This guy had his xmas ‘ruined’:

other airlines took well hand of the passengers easy jet didn’t give a s… No information no updates on their website. People was just told that their flight was canceled and that they could wait 7 days to get a new flight. No support no information just their normal 16 year old staff didn’t know what to say or do. I really hate easy jet and will NEVER fly them again. I really hope that they go bust, they are not worthy operating.

I wonder if I would be this angry if a budget airline canceled my flight and left me to hang out in the airport.  at least he was kind enough not to use real curse words on the internetz

This woman was got freaked out by ‘weird makeup’:

Have you notice the make up of Easy Jet air stewardesses (and also some from Ryanair?). God, they look like clowns!! The other day one of them…things asked me to measure my bag in Liverpool. God I almos screamed of fear. She looked like Amy Winehouse in orange and white. And how rude these ones are? They look like they come from a council estate in Hull, with five kids from five fathers living of subsidies from the government. The rude bitch made me pay for my bag which because of an inch in the “highly scientific” bag measurr in every airport

seems like she was really against the style choices made by the workers at easyjet. Seems like they wear makeup to ‘match’ their uniforms, but they end up looking like druggies (amy winehouse ref). Probably look like creamsicles. I probably would have made a reference to them. I wish I got the cultural reference to Hull, wonder what sorta British thing that is.

miss you creamsicle, but I

My life as an amateur Asian enthusiast (Happy Valentine’s Day!)

I didn’t always like Asian (azn) girls. It wasn’t something I was born with. My first serious girlfriend back in high school was white. I still think that Lauryn Hill and Chan Marshall and all the members of that one Charlie’s Angel’s remake are gorgeous. Still, when your track record looks like mine (5+ years of exclusive azn romance), it’s kind of hard to convince anyone that you are anything but “DAVE, ASIAN DATER.” Shit sucks.

Japanese. Chinese. (South) Korean. Filipina. Taiwanese. You name it, I’ve done it. And it’s not that I’m proud; far from it, in fact. Hell, I wish I were more open-minded about who I find attractive. It’s pretty embarrassing. Plus, it doesn’t make anyone (myself included) feel good to know that a girl is just one in a string of ex girlfriends all with ONE salient characteristic. Still, when it comes down to it, I’m the guy at the party who gets drunk and hits on the keut Chinese girl over in the corner. It’s awful. It’s terrible. It’s predictable.

I’m not like the other asianophiles I’ve met, though. Asian culture doesn’t particularly appeal to me. I don’t watch anime. I don’t play video games. I don’t read 4chan.org. I don’t even really like sushi that much. Basically, I’m just a regular, all-American bro that has some weird proclivity for the Asian body type. I’m in a constant search for the Perfect Asian-American Girl. The girl who majored in English lit but still speaks to her parents in Mandarin. The girl who survives on cans of Campbell’s soup but still goes out for dim sum every Sunday. The girl who likes pizza and beer and cigarettes but still looks like Princess Mononoke. She does exist. Or at least I sure hope she does.

That said, since moving to Seattle, things have begun to change. Being in an environment where I am constantly bombarded with gorgeous azn girls day in and day out has sent me into a state of shock. At first I thought it was paradise. Now I’m just kind of used to it. After making some awkward passes and going on some miserable first dates with various girls out here, I came to the realization that maybe, just maybe, I’m missing out on something… (cue music)

“Take A Picture” – Margo Guryan [There you go!—Ed. Buy this song and others like it here]

For the first time in 5 years, I have my first non-Asian girlfriend. It’s cool, I guess. Still, she knows she’s the exception to the rule. It’s not so great being a parody of yourself all the time. This afternoon I received the following text:

Hey! I saw a beautiful Japanese lady on the bus today and I thought of you :-)

I can’t escape it. I will always be that guy. Predictable, stable, never changing. Dave, amateur Asian enthusiast. Nice to meet you.

Introducing the Seattle Show / Fun Stuff Calendar

The Twilight Exit

Do you live in Seattle and sometimes feel disconnected from the other people who live in Seattle all around you? This happens to me sometimes, sitting in my chair in front of the computer alone in my room on a Friday night wondering what I am going to do with myself and in the end resolving to go to a bar, which isn’t bad per se but surely expensive and disappointing on many levels. Help is here.

Introducing: the Seattle Show / Fun Stuff Calendar, which can be found at the link as well as on the left hand side of this blog. The Seattle Show / Fun Stuff Calendar is intended to be a resource to those who are looking for more out of their Monday / Tuesday / Wednesday / Thursday / Friday (as well as Saturday / Sunday) nights. The SSFSC is also intended as a resource for those who want to publicize their event to the Internet. (Though, to be completely honest, I have no clue how many Seattle readers we have. This calendar is further intended to attract Seattle readers to RPP. Does Seattle read blogs?)

As its creator has lived in Seattle only since July 2009,  the SSFSC acknowledges the irony inherent in its creation, and furthermore needs y’all to help out. If you know of an event that you want people to go to and think it’s worth the trouble of emailing us, please do!

Help us get people to your fun show / opening / fundraising kegger / munch / dog and pony show / popcorn galleria and mustard exhibition / bar stool liquidation sale / post ironic grunge party – we can’t make this happen without y’all.

Reasons I am searching for a job despite depression

  1. I should probably be spending less time on the Internet
  2. In September my roommate quit his job and went to Scotland. He came back and didn’t look for work. He started looking for a job a month ago and now he has a job. I have been looking for the past three months.
  3. Wow. I wasn’t logged into WordPress so lines 3-12 were lost. What the fuck
  4. “Multitasking” is another way of saying, “I am distracted at work”
  5. My mother reads this blog
  6. Not working is hard
  7. “Bricolage” is another way of saying, “I have run out of things to say”
  8. I seek fulfillment in a position with competitive wages, benefits, and opportunity for advancement
  9. I am self employed and it doesn’t pay
  10. I motivated myself through this post twice
  11. Most bands are dead end jobs
  12. At least I saved it this time.

previously

Make your own! Post it into the comments section! Hooray!

Berlin I: This Club is Legend/Disappointing Music/Grrrlz on E?

This is the first part in a (hopefully) ongoing series in which Keith Birthday will recount some of the more interesting moments of his recent travels through Europe.

the warehousey exterior of an otherwise famous Berilnese club

We had put on our ‘best threads’. We expected to stand in line; he had heard so much about this ‘awesome warehouse club’ and how it was the ‘best party in Berlin’. Located in East Berlin, near the Friedrichshain district, Panoramabar/Berghain had gained a reputation of being ‘super exclusive and totally rad’. So I had high expectations, as any person would after hearing such praise.

There were four of us, the two girls A. and AK (German), and K. my male traveling companion. I knew A. through my sister and through the internet; they had gone to school together in Germany (sister was an exchange student) and upon hearing that I was going to Berlin, A. took the liberty of becoming my ‘internet friend’ in order that we could establish some contact before I arrived. AK was A’s friend who was visiting from home.  Maybe it was the constant switching between German (the Germans and I) Russian (A, K, and I) and English (everyone), but when the four of us had met for drinks earlier, the conversation had felt a little restrained and awkward, so I was slightly skeptical as to how the rest of the night would play out.

It had taken us a while to find the building (massive warehouse) where the club was located. We had encountered what AK had insisted was the Berlin wall (it wasn’t) and numerous drunk folks wandering about looking for the same place, it seems that everybody had been there once before but had absolutely no clue how to find it again, being that ‘a friend had taken me there’. We found it eventually (it was behind and to the left of the hardware superstore).


sweet lo-fi vid of the inside (rare cause they don’t let cams in)

When walking up to the line/bouncer, I expected to find an extremely long line and a very serious list. Instead we saw basically no one, and got in without any major problems. That being said, A insisted that we had come ‘too early’ and that the real party doesn’t start until three of four AM. It was two; I figured we’d stick around long enough in order to see things really ‘get out of hand’.

So we all went to the bar and got really expensive beers/mix drinks. Then we sat around drinking them and making small talk with one another. It seemed as though AK was not having a good time, and was giving off a very distant vibe. It an attempt to avoid further awkwardness, after a few drinks I suggested we go dance, I figured if anything we really didn’t have to talk to each other.

But the music was horrible. Not horrible in the sense that it was annoying/bad/lady gaga but because IT WAS BORING. Imagine this, you are dancing in the club with some attractive people around you who seem to share similar life interests. The music is ‘thumping’ and seems to be approaching that ‘breaking point’ where the whole techno song sorta ‘musically explodes’ and everyone goes crazy/dances emphatically etc. THIS DID NOT HAPPEN. The music would slowly slowly slowly escalate, only to drop off at the moment it should have opened up. It was like blue balls for dancing, it was absolutely infuriating and painful. After about twenty minutes of this, I could no longer handle the situation and decided to head back to the bar side and sit and see if I could establish any contact with girls.

At times I often criticize the Germans for being somewhat of a reserved people when it comes to their social habits, and in this scenario I truly believed that this trait was manifested within this music.

Upon sitting back down in the bar area, I began the usual ‘scoping out of babes’ that anyone in a club situation would do. I was feeling especially confident of my German that day, being that I had a chance to warm it up earlier. I was ready to engage some attractive person in their native tongue. Luckily, I didn’t have to wait very long being that the cute girl sitting next to me near the bar immediately engaged me in conversation.

‘you look bored.’
‘that’s because I am bored, I really think this music is terrible’
‘yeah, it’s not that great, but it’s better on other nights. Are you from Berlin?’
‘no, I’m not.’
‘so what do you do? Which university do you study at?’
‘I actually am done studying, I actually teach English in Russia.’
‘So you’re Russian?’
‘No I’m American…’

and so the small talk went on. As it progressed, I started to notice certain habits about this girl that struck me as odd. She was talking a lot, very intensely and extremely fast. She also hardly seemed to listen to any word I was saying. Eventually things took an even weirder turn.

‘so what do you study in Berlin?’
‘oh, I used to study psychology, but now I study law.’
‘why such the big change?’
‘because all of my friends were studying psychology in order to self treat themselves, after a while it got really stressful to have to deal with friends with so many problems. You see, most of them had serious personal issues. I’d say about half of them were cutters with lots and lots of scars on their arms, I actually had to move out of my apartment because I couldn’t deal with my roommate always appearing with fresh cuts, I mean really fresh.’
‘Holy s___ that’s insane.’
‘yeah and those that didn’t have cutting problems had eating disorders, I had so many bulimic friends that our shared toilets started having serious corrosion problems.’
‘wow, I’m sorry.’
‘oh, it’s okay, I’m fine. I have to go now, but it was nice talking to you.’

And then she and her friends left. This had all happened so quickly that I couldn’t really wrap my head around it for a few minutes. This wasn’t typical German behavior, she had engaged me in conversation, had showed little sign of social inhibition and then went on to tell me about some very serious issues she had going on in her life. I didn’t even know her name. I was seriously confused.

Then I realized she was probably on Ecstasy.

Reasons I am quitting my job in the middle of an economic depression

  1. Because I’ve always wanted to try crystal meth
  2. Because 30K with benefits really isn’t that great
  3. Because my mom makes really good meatloaf on Wednesdays
  4. Because fuck high school reunions, anyway
  5. Because I don’t drink enough
  6. Because I am an artist (ie. spoiled yuppie scumbag with a college degree)
  7. Because I’d rather pay out of pocket for my medicine
  8. Because I don’t need to retire
  9. Because work is hard
  10. Because everyone likes scabs, right?
  11. Because I’ve never eaten a meal entirely of condiments before
  12. Because I am really really dumb

“I Wanna Job” – Abner Jay

Proper introduction to follow. Vday!

Arrington De Dionyso(Old Time Relijun’, Malikat Dan Singa) shares secrets of the universe, tape can’t handle the truth.

I am obsessed with obsolete media, I can’t help it.  I have a relic heart.  But that being said, I try to capture human interactions on tape.  The tape player I was using for this interview could be considered ‘wonky,’ ‘a sham,’ ‘ill equipped/prepared.’  But I defend it; for as a relic heart, I fear releasing people’s ‘true selves’ to the faceless Internets.  So listen carefully, his words did this to the tape. Imagine what they’re doing to your brain:

Note:  This is a running edit. I heart lo-fi, people in ‘the real world’ might night appreciate this.  So, if you are at all offended in any way/shape/form feel free to email me and I will correct the problem.

Introducing Keith Birthday/Some Silly Things About Russia

me & vitamin water & blackberry (cool accoutrements)

Hi friends, I’m the newest blogger to be added to the ‘all-star roster’ here at RubPawPress. My name is Keith Birthday. José has mentioned me on this blog several times. I’ve never met Aaron, but apparently I seem like a ‘tenured bro’. I don’t look anything like either of the aforementioned writers on this site except that my hair is also curly and I also generally have facial hair. Besides that, my pigment/melanin count is significantly lower (or at least appears to be). José asked that I make an ‘autobioblurb’ about myself. So here is my extended a/s/l.

I know José from Philadelphia. We both used to live there. We went to the same college. We had a poetry class together and José was the only other person in the room whose opinion I respected. José doesn’t remember me from that class at all. The class had maybe fifteen people in it total.

Later, when we became friends, I lived in a significantly more gentrified area. The neighborhood was named ‘Fishtown’. Jose lived in ‘South Philly’. His neighborhood has a name but I forgot it. In order to see each other we would have to bike ~5 miles. Or sometimes I would drive, but that would only be when I needed to transport equipment. We were in two bands together; he was the ‘frontman’ of one and I of the other. I was the DD of both (having been the only one with a car). I’m still pretty sure his music is better

me with 'serious artistic intentions' (Jose in background)

We also liked to go and dance and try to ‘get lucky’ with local grrrrls. We were ‘wingmen’ for one another.  Once he and Dan Hghs and I turned my house into a club sandwich situation.  That was what we called it when we all got girls and went back to my house and ‘cuddled’ with them on all three different floors, like the slices of bread in a ‘club sandwich’ (brolol). We high-fived about it the next day, thought we were cool. If we didn’t get girls, we usually made late night Pizza runs to Lorenzo’s on South Street and ate large slices of pizza while talking about life. Either outcome was satisfactory. Eating pizza with yr bros is always a good time. It was worth me biking ~2 miles out of my way.

a slice of 'Lorenzo & Sons' za we'd often get

Like José, I also moved from Philadelphia, but in the opposite direction. It’s cold where I live, very cold. This is true because I live in a city called Tomsk. Tomsk is a city in Russia of ~500,000 peeps. It’s located in the geographic area commonly referred to as ‘Siberia’. I moved here on Sept 5 2009

googmap of location. actually feel kinda special cause I'm close to the geographic center of Asia

I am here because the government sent me. I also sort of chose to go here (I wanted to go to Russia). It was founded in 1604 by Ivan the terrible when he built a palisade fort along the river Tom to protect against invaders (I think) and everyone likes to brag about that.  There are six universities here, and the locals refer to it as ‘Siberian Athens’ due to the large student/theater presence. It is a very pretty Russian city. I would suggest you check out more pics here.

still luv u Lenin.

I am happy with this situation overall. There are lots of nice people here. I feel special because I get to teach at a University and feel like a really smart person. The government pays my bills. The downside is the temperature here at this time of year (winter) usually hovers around negative 30 to 40 degrees Fahrenheit. -40 is the same in Celsius and Fahrenheit so it’s really convenient when explaining to people how cold it is here. Winter starts early and ends late. We had our first snowfall this year on October 11. Right now it is too cold to snow. It will probably start snowing again in March and actually get warm in May.

I was recently told that ‘high up state dept officials’ read my personal blog. Wonder if that means Hill Clins reads it. Think that each secretary of each dept should make a tumblr. Think Bill Clins would probably have a good tumblog.

this has probably happened a lot.

Let me tell you some silly things about Russia:

1. Russians generally live up to the stereotype of drinking a lot of vodka
2. There are lots of stray dogs in essentially every town; they generally are better behaved than domesticated dogs.
3. This silly music video by a soviet-era ‘boy band’. Their name means ‘fiberglass’. This song is about the New Year, which is essentially Russian xmas/party time. These children were apparently orphans. Everyone in Russia thinks this video is funny:

4.Russia almost never has soap in its public bathrooms, but lots of people wore those silly surgical masks during the piggy flu scare. They would also take them off whenever convenient. Some of them even just wore cloth masks, which I’m sure made them more likely to get the piggy flu.
5. A true Russian girl never leaves the house without looking ready to go out/wearing high heels
6. Yes, many Russian men wear those silly fur hats.

see about 432987 of these every day

7. Many Russians can be impressed in two very easy ways (recent discovery).
-Shuffling a deck of cards (bridging them gets you more oooohs)
-Typing on a computer without looking at your hands
8. On the topic of cards, Russian card decks always come with 36 cards. It’s almost impossible to find a normal ‘poker’ type deck.
9. Russians only know one card game, but it’s a really good one, so I can understand why they didn’t see the necessity of inventing another.
10. Russians do not understand the concept of personal space. If there is a traffic jam at the entrance to a subway or similar public transportation entrance, Russians will generally all push against one another in a large group towards the entrance until they get in. It’s sort of like an ‘as the crow flies’ technique. Also, no one talks in this mass of people. It’s a little strange. Here is a diagram to help clarify:

circles indicate people, they aren't all the same color, though.

This system actually seems like a very minor version of the video of ‘crazy azns really stuffing themselves into a subway car as subway police help them’ as illustrated below

Of course there are some really awesome things about Russia. Here are some:

1. Russian cartoons are AMAZING. During the soviet times, cartoons were not seen as anything but a children’s medium. As a result, all of the smart animators just made really good children’s cartoons. Just check out this sweet Russian version of ‘Winnie the Pooh’.

What’s really interesting about Winnie here is that his name is ‘Винни-Пух’ which phonemically essentially the same name (Vinnie-Pookh). Even better is that ‘Пух’ actually means ‘down’ (as in feathers) in Russian so the name really works out.

2. The local made Russian beer here in Tomsk is delicious. It is not only local and fresh, but is unpasteurized. It also only costs 92 Rubles for 1.5 liters, which is like three dollars for a forty–and-a-half of actually good beer. It’s called Нефильтрофф which means ‘unfiltered’

3. Vodka is cheap and actually for nine dollars you can get a decent bottle.

4. The Cyrillic Alphabet. It just looks really cool.

lookin' good

5. Trains in Russia are awesome, especially when traveling long distances. Here are some reasons

-A bed to sleep in whenever you want
-hanging out with your friends all day
-new friends you meet on the train
-fifty hours of forced relaxation from Moscow to Tomsk (there is nothing else to do)
-eternal hot water heater in every train car
-fast ramen/tea/coffee/hot water related products access
-Old ladies selling homemade food at the stops
-Other old ladies selling dog-hair socks in the train (totally bought a pair). What dog are they made from? “From the village dog, of course!” This prob means stray dog.
-Crazy women who you meet in the train restaurant car who learn you’re from America and then only ask you questions about the Bermuda triangle/the Caribbean. Then you play cards with her (she only knows one game of course [see above])

6. There is a ‘Russian Sparks’ called Jaguar and it will not be forced to remove the energy component anytime soon. It’s fun.

om nom nom nom nom

7. The Banya, or bathhouse. Nothing like being naked in a steamy 200-degree room with other dudes sweating out the bad stuff. I’m actually not kidding, going with your friends is great.

8. Russian pancakes, called ‘Blini’ (Блины) are really delicious, especially from the kiosks in Tomsk known as ‘Siberian Pancakes’ (literal translation). I usually get them with ham and cheese and tomatoes. Sometimes with mushrooms (in cream). They are really delicious.

9. Russians are really friendly and generally very interested in foreigners. They really like helping you. They are warm-hearted.

If you need to contact me, the best way is via keithbirthday at gmail.com. The funny thing is I actually forgot the password to that account, but by the time anyone decides to email me I’m sure I’ll have figured it out

I will be alone this Valentine’s Day so I made a mix for another blogger and in return received a mix, which is posted below

This Could Be Love    Alkaline Trio
No One’s Gonna Love You    Band of Horses
Love Song    The Cure
This Modern Love (Dave Pianka’s Making Time Remix)    Bloc Party
Space Age Love Song    A Flock Of Seagulls
Lovefool    The Cardigans
I Believe In a Thing Called Love    The Darkness
Why Can’t There Be Love    Dee Edwards
Tainted love    Gloria Jones
Who’s Makin’ Love To Your Old Lady    Johnnie Taylor
Pavlove    Fall Out Boy
Fell In Love With A Girl    The White Stripes
What’s So Funny ‘Bout Peace Love and Understanding    Elvis Costello

Download it here

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I do not know how you, the assumed reader, feel about Valentine’s Day. I think I have been in a situation where one could or should formally acknowledge the day with an other about two times. Since then I’ve fashioned a sense of affected obliviousness towards the holiday, to the extent that I no longer notice whether other people are celebrating or whatever. Do you do this? Have you done this? Maybe everybody pays such intense non-attention to the day that, in their cultivated detachment they don’t notice the intense non-attention paid by everyone around them. They/we assume that people are ‘celebrating Valentine’s Day’. I am writing this in response to my internal doubts regarding the existence of Valentine’s Day, besides it having a space on the calendar that, if pointed to would be identified as such.

That being said, it seems to me that Valentine’s Day is as good a day as any to make a mixtape for someone or to just make a mixtape and see if anyone listens to it. So I decided to make a Valentine’s Day mix – the object of my affection being the Internet (<3 y’all). I wanted the mix to be new and edgy so instead of basing my choices primarily on lyrical content or sonic mood I did the following:

1. Opened iTunes
2. Typed ‘Want’ into search window
3. Selected songs
4. Arranged songs

When I was making this mix I thought that I should ask Anna, ‘Kitten in Chief’ at Philadelphia dating blog Shmitten Kitten, if she wanted to post the mix I was making on her site. She thought it was a good idea and made one for me, using a rule similar to the one that governed my mix (watchword: Love). This may mean that we are Internet Dating.

Her mix is above. My mix is on Schmitten Kitten.